Writing as Therapy

Dear readers,

It has been a quite a while since I have been able to share my thoughts on this blog, and I apologize for my long absence. To be honest I don’t really have an excuse, but I do have a reason I can attempt to share. Hopefully it is good enough to crave your indulgence.

Over the last four weeks I have been busy with work, life and my own thoughts. Four weeks ago, I had wanted to share something with you all, but I chose not to after a contemplating for a while. My reason was simple; whatever I had in mind to write about didn’t flick a switch with me. Thus, I decided if what I was writing wasn’t exciting to me then I won’t share it. I know some of you might respond by saying sometimes the ‘not so interesting” blogs end up becoming the super stories. In as much as this is true, I wasn’t really “feeling it” so I shelved it. This feeling went on for weeks and I kept asking myself how to get out of it.

Well last week, it happened naturally since I had to travel for a work-related conference in Chicago. Somehow or another the Airport in Chicago and I have an interesting relationship. I missed my first flight in Chicago, got delayed and went through the process of waiting for many follow up flights. So naturally when I arrived and saw it was the same Airport, I had missed my flight a while back, I kind of felt that perhaps the trip wasn’t going to be fun after all. Anyways I went through with it and I must say I learnt a lot during my time at the conference.  There was a session during the conference that was dedicated to mental health at workplaces and it was both informative and refreshing. The rate of mental health issues has been on the rise in the US, especially when associated with workplace stress. There was a guy who came to share his story with us as a living example of one who had mental health challenges and how with the help of the organization who gave the discourse, he was able to overcome them.

I may not be able to share all what I gathered from the discourse, but I’ll try to weave in some points as I write. One major indication of an offset in mental health is a change in regular activities which may define a person. For example, I exercise everyday in the morning before setting out for work. I rely on body weight and basic exercises such as sit ups, push ups, etc. Now if I were to stop this for an extended period, (this doesn’t include rest days/ cheat days/ bad health, etc.) then it won’t be out of place if my partner were to inquire if all was okay. It would be a huge change if the stop was a long one. Another example will be my spirituality. I pray everyday and engage in mantra meditation before setting out. If I was to go a day without engaging my daily mantra meditation, it would be obvious that something was wrong with me. In other words, we need to know what our purpose driven activities are. These serve as one of the many yardsticks to know if we are sliding down the mental health rail.

Personally, it seems writing has been my chosen medium of expression, and over the years I begin to see that perhaps it was therapy unknown to me. There were times in my life when I had a lot to say about certain irregularities around me, be they spiritual, material or even administrative. During those times I had rubbed some people on the wrong side because they felt that I was “too bold” to challenge their authority. These people in positions of power were autocratic and anyone who dared speak about what they did, how it was done, became an “enemy”. I had my fair share of that madness until I decided I was done with it. Furthermore, if there was one thing that kept me sane and allowed me to remain focused in my duties, it was the fact that I could still speak about what I felt in poetry, prose, allegory or just straight up venting in blogs.

The beauty about this was that those who read my blog and were around me knew the issues I was addressing. I had my opportunity to still speak out with out coming off as “challenging, or uncooperative”. It was a win-win situation. It never bothered me that maybe my writings will get read by those who were a disturbance to administration, because I knew anyone with the mindset of bullying, tyranny, workplace politics, wasn’t someone who read. Until recently I always had something to write about or to share as injustice never slipped pass my gaze. Four weeks ago, I guess most of that changed. For once I didn’t need to address an ill or stand up for something, I saw an anomaly. Is this a sign that the planet earth is now “trouble free”? or is this a sign that I am becoming free of trouble?

Either way I knew that I was getting more centered to the things that mattered to me. I was tearing my hair less about things that were outside my circle of influence.  I have been asking myself lately, is this a new calm or is this an extended period of writer’s block. Coincidentally (if there is a thing as coincidence or just perfect timing), I am also reading the third part of Atlas Shrugged and the description is about Miss Dagny Taggart crash landing in a place that seems almost like an utopia; meeting with all those who were frustrated by the system, who never broke by its pressure and had created a world that gave them all they wanted, most especially peace of mind. I hope as I unravel the mystery of this newfound world by reading more, I can also discover the mystery behind my newfound “calm”. I would like to hope that all these culminate in me being able to put forth unprecedented writings.

Till my next writing, read, share and follow for more, or show some love by buying me a cup of coffee here

If Money wasn’t an issue…

Hi!

It is a pleasure to be able to share with you all another blog today. Lest I forget; my thoughts and prayers to all those who affected by the Hurricane. Let’s hope and pray that it passes soon and things can return to normal. This happening around the same time as the Amazon burning is just too many indicators that we need to do better as inhabitants of this planet. We can’t just run off to another planet if this one is destroyed, so before we spend so much trying to find life and existence on other planets, maybe we can use some of that fund to save the life here first.

Whenever natural disasters like this happen, the loss can be really staggering. On another note, Summer is coming to an end and fall is slowly creeping in. The weather even though still feels like Summer, for the most part, we can’t ignore the temperature dropping and the frequent rains. This fluctuation every now and then has seemed to get the better part of me and I am currently under the weather.

Whenever we are in situations of discomfort be it bodily or environmental, it helps us appreciate how much we take things for granted. We wake up every day and feel that it is just normal that we did, we feel like it is normal that we can just walk to our places of work, we feel like it is normal that we can eat, sleep, etc all unaided. The truth is none of these are promised and every day we wake up we have to be grateful. The other day, my colleague at work and I were taking a  walk and we came across a guy who was having housing issues and had all his stuff in a plastic bag. The plastic bag was torn in many places and was barely holding up. As we walked past our recycling bins there was a cardboard box sitting next to one of the bins and my colleague said: ”  I hope he takes this to put his stuff in it”.

In that split second, I replied ” it is interesting how we go about each day complaining about the things we don’t have and things we wish we had and our grand schemes and plans. Here is a guy who at this point just needs a bag to hold his clothes so that he doesn’t have to drag all his stuff all over the floor.” We both sighed and kept walking. The thought lingered in my mind though. A day or two later, as I was walking from one of our offices to the other, another guy in a similar situation had stopped me to ask for spare change. Deep down inside I really wanted to spare him a dollar or something and had told myself on the way out I’ll give him if he was still there. However, on the other hand, there is the precautionary thought about giving money to people on the street. The intention will be to assist them in getting something to eat or drink.

On the flip side, some of these guys have drug addictions and monetary help given to tghem only aids them in supporting the addiction. Hence the dilemma: to give or not to give? My dad has always had a formula that works; he says to give money to someone who may use it to further a vice is like you enable them. So what does he do? He keeps extra bottles of water and snacks in his car and anytime he comes across someone asking for help, he gives them something to eat or drink. This seems like a win-win for everyone. He helps them and is not bothered about what they do with his the help, because he knows they can’t use it to buy anything harmful to themselves.

I have been asked a good number of times what will I do if money or time wasn’t an issue. My response has been; travel the world and feed people in every country I visit. Imagine traveling from one country to another and at each stop, we hold a mass public feeding event and feed as many people as possible then pack up after a day or two to another country and repeat. The idea will be to distribute healthy cruelty-free meals cooked in the area of distribution and given to people free of charge. The idea of a cruelty-free meal ( read vegetarian) is also a conscious means to help raise awareness of the struggle our environment is facing. If I was to feed say 5,000 – 10,000 people meals that have animals in them, I’ll be supporting an industry that is killing our planet.

Now imagine this scene in every country around the world. I sometimes imagine what it would be like to see the smiles on the faces of people in places or countries that I have never been. To be able to connect with people who I may never see again but still create a lifetime impression. There is a satisfaction that comes from helping others that money cannot buy. I have been involved in food relief around the world and to be honest, every continent has people who are in dire need of a meal. There is no country so rich that no one is starving. This would be just a phase of my dream activity. The second phase I’ll rather not share here as ideas are priceless.

This planet has people with lots of money and I know money is not an issue in achieving this goal. When the Cathedral got burnt recently and just three families raised over $500M, it was justa confirmation of how much people have that they don’t actually need. There is a saying ” there is enough for everyone’s need but not enough for one Man’s greed.” Hopefully someday we can all realize that we cannot eat and breathe money. Maybe when the planet is out of Oxygen and food is completely artificial, maybe then we would see that money is not as important as we tend to make it seem.

Today’s blog is more of me sharing some of my thoughts and insights into things that happened during my week. I am still struggling with flu symptoms as I write and hopefully by this time next week I should be in better form and health.

Till then, read, share and follow for more.

Labor Day

Hi!

It is a pleasure to be able to share with you all today another blog. Due to the fact that today is a National holiday, I felt it would be nice to have this blog center around Labor. There is no gainsaying this is a holiday to honor and celebrate the workforce of the country. To all those who have served and currently serve this wonderful country, this is to say thank you.

There are various arms of the society’s workforce that probably doesn’t get the appreciation they deserve and I hope today we all take some time out to just say thank you to these people. Say thank you to a Fire Man just because, say thank you to a Police officer just because, say thank you to the Military just because, say thank you to Doctors, Nurses, and first responders just because, say thank you to the farmers who grow our food just because ( we are actually very indebted to them), say thank you to as many Laborers as you can. That being said, I want to try as much as I can to link this day to the vital principle of service. In actuality without service, Man is nothing. My spiritual mentor’s teacher would say as a joke, “if you don’t serve God then you’ll serve dog“. Basically what he meant was; if a man doesn’t use his service propensity for something of higher principle then he’ll use it for things with lower tendencies.

Man and service are integrally woven, and to separate them is to put an end to Man. This is so important that it is exemplified when people are punished by the state for crimes. When a man commits an offense and he is locked away in prison, his freedom is taken away, but their need to serve is still kept. That is why in prisons inmates are allowed to work. In the case of a dangerous criminal who is locked away in solitary confinement, the idea is to take away not just freedom but their ability to be useful to themselves and others; basically the ability to serve. Labour is just a synonym for service. Another example we can get some insight from is the case of very wealthy Entrepreneurs who still work even though they do not need to. One may wonder why they do even though they have enough wealth to last a lifetime. The answer is simple; they have to serve.

We live in times however when people think or feel a certain type of job is “below them” or for a “laborer”. This idea and mindset has created a whole class system in some countries and the effects are quite detrimental. The beauty of Man is his ability to serve or to render labor, take that away from him and you strip him of his usefulness. Earning a living is not just about making money, it is also about being valued. How can one be of value if they render no service or offer no labor? Wonder why sometimes we crave to “get away” and “do nothing” and then barely two to three days in the “getaway” we start craving the need to go back to work?

This brings us naturally to another perspective of labor. Just before we go further, I’ll like to state that I have used the word service freely as a substitute for the word labor because it truly captures the essence of labor. If labor is rendered without the desire to serve, then it is egotistical. If labor is offered without the desire to serve then it doesn’t bring real satisfaction, this is why some “big entrepreneurs” feel the need to want to “give back” after so many years of making a profit. Giving back shouldn’t be something done because we now feel a vacuum from exploiting people and see that the wealth we have amassed has no real value if it doesn’t serve others. If our labor is with the intent to serve then it is in itself giving back. I should clarify that I am in no way against philanthropy or charity, I am however not a big fan of “guilt charity”.

No amount of “giving back” can fix exploitation. If a laborer has earned wealth at the expense of the health, sanity, peace and well being of others then giving back to sort of mitigating the guilt is just self-deceit. You might say but won’t it be better that he at least acknowledges the wrong and try to fix it? Sure! I am speaking from the standpoint of what true labor offering will mean to us as a society. Imagine a company that offers labor to society by engaging in production but dumps toxic waste in water bodies that people get water from. Diseases and even death can occur from such contamination due to labor that has been offered/given without proper consciousness, no amount of giving back can bring someone who is deformed or dead from such contaminations. This is my perspective.

Every society needs the laborer class and to think that we are above laborers is an illusion in itself. The society is compared to the human body and laborers are like its legs. No matter how beautiful or intelligent one is if he/she cannot move about with the assistance of their own legs, life becomes difficult. This is the position of the society as well. We all cannot become Scientists, Saints, etc, however, we all can serve the society according to our natural inherent dispositions. To all those who are serving in one way or another, I say thank you and may we all strive to become better by serving selflessly.

Till next week, read, share and follow for more.

 

Criticism

Hi!

It is a great time to share with you all today yet another blog. I am grateful to all those who visited my blog last week for new reads. I really appreciate your support. In the last two weeks, my focus has been more on blogs that share insight, values and teach some morals. I can only hope that you all are in good spirits and that we can have another successful week ahead.

Today I just want to share my thought process on a subject matter that has many sides; criticism. This is one topic that depending on whom you are speaking with, their life experiences, generation, mentality, etc, you are certain to get a myriad of opinions. It will be nice to state here and now before we get neck-deep in this conversation that there are two main types of criticism. There is constructive criticism and destructive criticism. As the names imply one type of criticism helps the person criticized to learn and improve. The other tends to lean towards making the person criticized feel bad and belittle them. The objective is NOT to help the individual involved to become a better person, the critic doesn’t give valuable information as to how to become better or improve on the situation being criticized.

Now that these two categories have been somewhat established let’s look at some grey areas. I use the word “grey areas” because we live in a century and with a Millenial generation that is expert in the art of finding grey areas. Thus I felt I try to point some of these out myself. The “trend” nowadays is for people to tag anyone who criticizes them as a “hater”. It doesn’t matter if the critic is constructive or destructive. As soon as someone expresses an opinion contrary to what most people have nowadays they “must be a hater”. The second gray area is that most people who tend to tag others as haters feel like no one is in a position to criticize what they do or how they do it. In all fairness to this category of “grey area thought” I feel they are somewhat in the correct.

It is very true that except someone is financing, feeding or sleeping with us, their opinion in our lives may not really matter. However, if we go strictly by this mentality, then we have a lot of people who do not fall into the 3F category (Feeding, Financing, and F*ing, I have replaced this with “sleeping with” to make it cleaner for a general audience). We have teachers, instructors, mentors, elders, family members, well-wishers, etc who do not fall in either of the 3F’s and yet may very well have genuine positive intentions. The problem is everyone is on the “hater hype train” because it either makes them feel important or draw sympathy or allows them to play the victim. This naturally brings us to the next part of the discussion; victim mentality. <<<— please read this.

We live in times where the status quo is “be a victim because you can get paid for it”. Most people are searching for an easy payday from some lawsuit and will go to any length to try to get one. When this is the underlying principle in the minds of a greater part of the populace, then how do you think such a person can handle criticism? Obviously NOT, to receive criticism is to to be accountable for what you have done that is not in order. Receiving criticism is almost gone because now you have to be extremely careful about what you say and to whom you say it. Everyone seems to be on a “triggered spree” and is waiting to be triggered. People want to be handed criticism as soft as feathers, on a platter of gold while you kiss their backsides. However, they want to act as they please with no regard for rule, structure, consequences or even order.

As the saying goes; you can’t eat your cake and have it. There are two sides to criticism; the critic and the criticized. Both of them should be responsible for their actions. The critic should be firm but not harsh, the intention should be to teach and train not to belittle. The criticized should be accountable for their action, apologize if need be, learn and then move on to do better. If this formula is applied we can have healthy criticism. Now whether we like it or not we will always get criticized, the choice lies in the hands of the criticized. You may not be able to control who criticizes you but you can control what you do with the criticism. The Vedas are known to the oldest scriptures known to Man and we can draw a lot of lessons from them. In the Vedas, it is mentioned that a Paramahamsa ( or exalted personality) is one who can separate milk poured into water like a Swan. This means they can take the essence of anything and use it to a benefit.

Even when the criticism is somewhat negative and destructive, the real question we can ask is what can I learn from this? How can I use this to my advantage? Is this critic just here to push me out of my comfort zone? In fact, for the most part of my teenage life up to my mid-twenties, I had a critic who literarily followed me everywhere I went to in the world. I know it sounds strange but you have no idea how far people can go to make you look bad. I resented him for a long time until I saw that his criticism was just nudging me to leave his circle of influence; which meant leaving my somewhat comfort zone. Till this day, it is one of my best decisions. So in other words, sometimes just take destructive criticism and use it to an advantage. There is a saying and I paraphrase; ” the stones they threw at us, we used as cornerstones for our foundation.”

You don’t want to be criticized, there is a simple technique to use; Do nothing, say nothing and be nothing. No one will criticize you then. However, if you aspire to be of some good in life then expect the criticism. Take it to the chin like a seasoned boxer, absorb it, learn from it, process it and then use it as a recoil to launch a better counter. Your counter should be progress and not an excuse to also get back at them with criticism. You want to really “get back at a critic” that you feel is a destructive one, then be better and do better.

I hope this helps us all, there are points I have shared here that I also need to imbibe. This is a learning process for us all. Till next week, read, share and follow for more.

Egotistical Independence

Hi!

I hope you all are faring well. It is pleasure being able to share with you all yet another blog this week. Following in the mood from last week, I am sharing a blog on a subject matter I have spoken on previously. The difference in today’s blog is that I am addressing the issue of Independence from a different perspective. Feel free to read my previous write up in the link above.

The concept of wanting to act as the “Lord of all that we survey” is a deep-rooted perverted aspect of our true self. I go into depth in my article on independence above. Thus today I won’t be talking much from that perspective, rather I’ll be looking at it from the viewpoint of being able to tap into an unlimited reservoir of help. There is an adage that says “obedience is better than sacrifice”. Africans have something similar; “he who requests for directions before undertaking a journey doesn’t get lost.” Bottom line is those who have a guide have a higher chance of making better progress. Everyone wants to be a “boss”, no one wants to be told what to do, how to do, when to do anything. However, when there is a consequence for our minute independence, many people cower at the punches life deals to them.

Independence is sweet so long we are equally responsible for the downside. Below is a short story about the importance of having a guide who helps us utilize our independence.

Once upon a time, a cow went out to graze in the jungle. Suddenly, she noticed a tiger racing towards her. She turned and fled, fearing that at any moment the tiger would sink his claws into her. The cow desperately looked for someplace to escape and at last, saw a shallow pond. Barely evading the tiger’s reach, she jumped into the pond, and in the heat of the chase, the tiger blindly leaped after her.

To the surprise of them both, the pond was extremely shallow yet filled with deep recesses of mud. After toppling over each other, the cow and the tiger found themselves a short distance apart, stuck in the mud up to their necks. Both had their heads above water but were unable to free themselves no matter how much they writhed.

The tiger repeatedly snarled at the cow and roared, “I am going to enjoy the sound of crunching your bones between my teeth!”

He thrashed about in fury but soon became fretful as he found no prospect of escape. The cow thoughtfully laughed as the tiger struggled to free himself and asked him, “Do you have a master?”
The tiger disdainfully replied, “I am the king of the jungle. Why do you ask me if I have a master? I myself am the master!”
The cow said, “You may be the king of the jungle, but here all your power has failed to save your life.”
“And what about you?” Retorted the tiger. “You are going to die here in this mud too!”’

The cow smiled mildly and said, “No, I am not.”
“If even I, the king of the jungle cannot free myself from this mud”, snapped the tiger, “Then how can you, an ordinary cow?”
The cow gently replied, “I cannot free myself from this mud, but my master can. When the sun sets and he finds me absent at home, he will come looking for me. Once he finds me, he will raise me up and escort me home sweet home.”

The tiger fell silent and coldly glared at the cow. Soon enough, at sunset and the cow’s master arrived. He immediately recognized the plight she was in and lifted her to safety. As they walked home, the cow and the master both felt renewed gratitude for one another and pitied the tiger. They both would have been happy to save if only the tiger had allowed them.

The cow represents a surrendered heart, the tiger represents an egoistic mind, and the master represents GOD. The mud represents the world, and the chase represents the struggle for existence therein.

Another interesting angle to this is that our egotistical mind which is the tiger devouring our real happiness is the very one we try to save. Instead of letting our hearts surrender to a guide when we see and acknowledge one, we rather try to rationalize their position using our egotistical mind. In the end, we do not save the heart (the cow), and the Tiger (our mind) won’t allow itself to be saved.
Moral
Its good to be independent and not rely on anyone. But don’t take it to an extreme, you always need a partner/coach/mentor who will be always on the lookout for you.
Having them does not mean you are weak, it’s just that you can be stronger with their help. Make sure to share this story with your partner/coach/mentor/children and express your gratitude to God and them.

Show me a great Man/Leader and I’ll show you someone who was a great disciple or follower. Society has made submission or inquiry to a learning process something to be ashamed of. People are encouraged to “challenge” their preceptors because “times are changing”. It is no doubt that there has been a vast leap in many areas of life today, nevertheless, the experience that comes from living through these changes and other experiences in different fields are things we cannot take for granted.

I hope this blog sheds some light on this subject matter. Till next week; read, share and follow for more.

 

Negotiation and Peace

Hi!

I hope you all are doing well. This week I’ll be sharing something very simple yet profound; something I feel at one point in time in our lives we’ve all had to deal with. However, before we get into it, please remember to stay hydrated lol. The heatwave has been intense of late. Drink lots and lots of water.

Today’s topic is on negotiation. Many people see the word negotiation from different perspectives. A salesman might see it from the perspective of profit, a lawyer from the perspective of saving a client, a Father from the perspective of passing across life lessons, etc. Irrespective of how we see the art of negotiation, we all would agree that any negotiation that doesn’t result in a win-win scenario isn’t truly a negotiation perse. In some cases, during a negotiation, one party may decide to be the “bigger person” and forgo some of their rights and privileges just for peace to reign. They see that trying to achieve a true win-win isn’t feasible because the other party is intransigent.

It is not every day that we run into such people of bigger hearts, who value relationships and their peace of mind more than pettiness. The majority tends to lean towards the mentality of “it’s my way or no way”. A brief example of someone giving up their right in a negotiation in order to save something of greater value for themselves. Once while traveling across some country borders, my Dad and I ran into some very difficult Border patrol guy. There were some fees required to stamp our passport but for some reason (which I feel was just to rip us off), this agent had refused to comply with the standard rates and demanded more money. My dad had shown his old passport to justify that he was a frequent traveler and that his new passport was not an indication of first time traveling.

The border agent was adamant even though the facts were right before his eyes. We had two options that we could control; one was to pay him the extra fee and be on our way, and the other was to stay put and refuse to pay until a superior officer came and hopefully allowed us to pass through. We had things to do while this border agent was at his office and had all the time to waste ours. My dad paid and we left. I was furious and asked him why he complied, I was a teenager when this happened. My sense of “life” was very limited as compared to now. My father looked at me said, “whenever you are dealing with someone who has nothing to lose in a situation that you have a lot to lose, just learn to be flexible”.

We were the travelers, with a vehicle waiting on us on the other side of the border, we didn’t have much time to waste. The border agent had nothing to lose. To be honest I have been in situations in my life where I have had to sacrifice a lot of things because I can see the bigger picture which the other party couldn’t. I have against my “natural course of action” had to swallow a lose-win situation because I knew that in the long run, I had a lot more at stake and my peace of mind was important.

There is another story that has been making rounds on the internet for a while and I should share it to show the power of negotiation when the real objective is to find peace.

A father left 17 Camels as an asset for his three Sons. When the Father passed away, his sons opened up the will. The will of the Father stated that the eldest son should get half of 17 Camels, the middle Son should be given 1/3rd of 17 Camels, youngest Son should be given 1/9th of the 17 Camels, as it is not possible to divide 17 into half or 17 by 3 or 17 by 9, the sons started to fight with each other.

So, they decided to go to a wise man.

The wise man listened patiently about the Will. The wise man, after giving this thought, brought one camel of his own and added the same to 17. That increased the total to 18 camels. Now, he started reading the deceased father’s will.

Half of 18 = 9. So he gave 9 camels to the eldest son.
1/3rd of 18 = 6. So he gave 6 camels to the middle son

1/9th of 18 = 2. So he gave 2 camels to the youngest son.
Now add this up: 9 + 6 + 2 = 17 & This leaves 1 camel, which the wise man took back.

MORAL: The attitude of negotiation and problem solving is to find the 18th camel i.e. the common ground. Once a person is able to find the common ground, the issue is resolved. It is difficult at times. However, to reach a solution, the first step is to believe that there is a solution. If we think that there is no solution, we won’t be able to reach any!

One major reason why people cannot reach common ground is that everyone is busy trying to see how they can get as much as possible for themselves. In one of Eli Broad‘s book, he shows us how he negotiates for deals which may seem unreasonable. His approach is to try as much as possible to let the other party see the value his negotiation will bring them. In theory, I can cite may more authors who have given a decent way to make this happen, but in practice, our false ego won’t let us achieve this.

Some of you reading might say but there are times when we face a party who is so inconsiderate that it is almost impossible to find common ground. As true as this might sound, it is almost futile to try to force someone to accept our stance. It is a waste of time and eventually, it only breeds bad feelings and resentment.

As we all try to truly understand the deeper tenets of finding common ground in negotiation, I hope we take a minute to pause and reflect on what the bigger picture is we are trying to achieve. (I never said it was easy 🙂 )

Till next week, read, share and follow for more.

Thoughts in motion

Hello readers,

I hope you all had a great week. It’s been a week since I last wrote and I know a good deal of you must have missed my blog. I do apologize to those who came but found no content to read. Last week came with its own set of lessons and all I can say is I am grateful.

My partner and I had a road trip right after a festival of chariot and even though we have done the same route many times before, this time the challenges were different. I  have learnt so much in the last week that I feel obliged to share it with all of you. To be honest, sometimes we may be in a very trying situation with a lot of learning opportunities but if we fail to immerse ourselves into the experience given, we will not be able to fully grasp the message being conveyed.

In the face of disappointment, we are quick to judge, blame, and even give up. This is what I refer to as the “reactionary attitude”. Something goes bad, we act accordingly. There is no time for reflection, or time for us to evaluate the situation and then come up with a strategy. Over the weekend I can remember being in a situation whereby my partner and I had some not so good feedback and in the moment because I was carried away by her disposition to the situation, I also lost track of mine. My thinking ability had temporarily shut down and I was at the mercy of my subconscious memory. I was going through the physical motions of moving but my mind and heart were not in proper unison.

Another scenario had presented where I needed to exercise tranquility and remove myself from whatever was happening. I had being able to control my emotions and not act on impulse and the end results was great. It goes without saying that to whom much is given much is expected. Anytime we fall short in a situation we need to ask ourselves; are we utilizing all the resources we have in order to win this war over matter and the mind. It seems to me that we are in a constant tussle between matter and spirit. At some point we are in tune with our energies and spirit is in control, and at other times we allow our base tendencies to take over.

The struggle is real as a common phrase goes. We have to daily make choices that all add up into weekly choices, monthly choices, yearly choices and lifetime choices. We are a sum and substance of all the choices we have made over time in our lives. Whether we agree to this fact or not, it is a bitter pill to swallow. How do we convince someone going through a difficult time that they are in that situation due to choices they have made. The truth is we don’t. A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion and as such most people learn by repeated and failed experience. There is the popular phrase “experience is the best teacher”. I used to quote that a lot as a teenager and once my Dad said to me “not in every case. In some cases only fools learn by experience. A first class human being (or intelligent person) learns by hearing from authorities on a subject matter or by the experience of others.”

I have always reflected on his phrase. There are some things I have been through a couple times and I ask myself; am I being a first class human in this situation or a third class human being. (This is someone who even though he has lived an experience still doesn’t learn and repeats the same mistake). There are other times when I have an experience once and I vow to myself never again to relive it. In effect what am I saying; life does get to us most of the time. The other part when we think we are outsmarting life, it is just a break. I don’t want to sound pessimistic or come off as one dealing with issues, I just wanted to share these random thoughts that were circulating in my head.

Another good analogy for life and its distractions is; travelling on the highway. When we travel interstate, we pass many exits. Each exit has its own attraction; food, gas, hotel, etc. However we do not get off at every exit. We keep driving until we need to either rest, refuel or eat. We won’t be able to arrive at our destination if we took every exit we saw. In fact we would never begin the journey if we took the very first exit that we saw. This will take us totally off track and if somehow or the other we got back on track and took another exit again, we would be off track again. In essence what I am trying to say is, it is always handy to have focus and direction in life. This becomes like a compass for us.

There will be times when we might need to pull over from the journey of life to take a quick break but we wont be off track. We still have the goal and our GPS will be our values. They will point us in the direction we feel is most important to us. Just like the regular GPS, it is just a guide to get us to our destination. Our values will always be our GPS, if someone is morally bankrupt or deficient then we can compare that to a GPS that is not up to date. If we hold others to our own values, we will be compared to someone who wants other drivers to follow his own GPS. Everyone has their own journey, we may journey together for a while but never entirely together.

After all said and done, we want to be able to look back and be grateful for the gift of life, the gift of good health, and the gift of basic amenities that we take for granted. To those who wake up everyday with the zeal of a hunting Lion, I say all the best and see you all at work on Monday.

Till next week do follow for more. Read, like and share with others.

Self Help

Hello!

Hope you all are faring well.

Summer has been pretty interesting here with the various “emotional weather” it has given. One day there is a storm forecast and the next day heatwave; fluctuations from 65-82 degrees intermittently. It’s really hot out here and the heatwave is getting intense.  I guess for the most part I am just trying to stay hydrated. Anyways I just felt I share what my immediate day and week has been like. Last week I shared a Prayer and the response was heartwarming.

Today I want to share a few thoughts that have been on my mind as regards the African American community here in the states. I was speaking with one of our Maintenance guys at the office last week and one discussion led to another. During the course of our conversation, we had steered into the issue of consumerism. We both were in agreement that today many people buy things they don’t really need just because they have been hooked on the addiction of consumerism. This naturally went on to topics like which demographic is mostly guilty of this. We also went on to talk about how the African American community “complains” a lot about how they “don’t have resources” but spend the most on things that add little or no value to their income.

By the way, if anyone was wondering, the maintenance guy and I are “black-bodied”, and he is somewhere in his middle age. I feel that sometimes people get too carried away with the false identification of being “their body” that they find it hard to speak certain truths when it pertains to people of their demographic. Every demographic has its strengths and its flaws. Now does it mean we should dwell on either and use it to justify capricious activities? No! Has the “black community” been disenfranchised by slavery? Yes! Did this put them back a great deal? Yes! Is this still an issue today as regards privileges accorded to certain demographics? Yes!

Now moving forward; what have I noticed? Every now and then I hear things like the black community doesn’t get as much Government assistance as other demographics. Is this totally true? I am not sure, however, yes there is a bias and we see it every day with issues like young black men being shot and the officers who kill them having little to no retribution. My blog is not a political one so I’ll leave that part and focus on what really matters to me; “self-help”. Now I want you all to take a mental note of how many black Football players (NFL not soccer) we have that earn six figures. Then I want you all to make mental notes of Basketball players in the same category. Now make another mental note of rappers, athletes and actors in the same category.

Very impressive list right! If you are social media savvy we all know how some of these athletes, rappers, etc flaunt their wealth. Without mentioning names, there is one so notorious of this to the extent that almost all his pictures show him displaying cash worth millions on the table, floor, bed, etc. I hear someone say; well it is their money and they can do with it as they please. I totally agree. What I don’t agree with is the hypocrisy. How can you all talk about how your “community” is disenfranchised and 10 of you are sitting on billions of dollars? How can you talk about the government not helping “your people” when you guys can’t help your own people? The hypocrisy is strong.

Without calling names, I can mentally think of 5 basketball players, 5 rappers, 5 athletes, 5 football players whose combined net worth is in the Billions. Why can’t these “successful” black people give back to their own community? Why can’t they do things in their own communities to empower more of their own to be like them? If you are making $100M in one of your competitions and you don’t have anything that generates wealth for your own people then who is to blame? I know everyone must work for his own success and I am not a fan of cheap handouts, however, if some of you have made it out of the “rat race” with more than “a little” to spare why not invest it back into your own community? Well, I guess that is too noble to do. These “rich and successful” black minority at the top will rather throw lavish parties, buy unnecessary stuff, flaunt their wealth, and eventually end up in debt.

When that happens, they blame the system again for victimizing them. I feel it is pathetic and just totally delusional to have so much potential “within” and yet be searching for “help” outside. Then we all wonder why the current generation is so caught up in the “get rich quick” syndrome. We all wonder why the moment a young black kid gets “rich and famous” they want to buy all the expensive toys and flaunt it. We all wonder why they immediately dissociate themselves from their community. What goes around comes around. Every now and then while at work I see flashy cars dropping off people or delivering food, and when I check who the driver is; guess what, my very brothers.

Is it wrong to have a side hustle? Absolutely not. In fact in our society today, we all need one. However here is the picture; if you are doing a food delivery side hustle in a new edition BMW, BENZ or PORSCHE Cayenne, then something is off with your priorities. The car notes on that car if saved could help you so much that you might not even need a side hustle. Let’s not even mention the insurance for cars like that. Am I saying don’t drive a nice car? No, but drive a car that you can afford without “killing yourself”. This is just one example of the “trend” and trust me if you interrogate these guys driving these flashy cars and “hustling” they’ll tell you that the government is the problem 100%.

Victim mentality in our demographic is high and strong, hopefully, one day we’ll all wake up and see that what really matters is not the exterior. Till next week, read, share and follow for more.

Money: the root of all evil 2?

Hi!

Happy belated Independence day! I hope you all had a great day on the 4th of July! The feeling of festivity must still be in the air for those who took a long weekend. Nevertheless, it was really great seeing so many people come out to show love and patriotism.

As a continuation from last week’s post, I’ll be sharing more insights or rather paragraphs from Ayn Rand’s book that relates to money.

“Money will not purchase happiness for a man who has no concept of what he wants; money will not give him a code of values if he’s evaded the knowledge of what to value, and it will not provide him with a purpose if he’s the choice of what to seek. Money will not buy intelligence for the fool, or admiration for the coward, or respect for the incompetent. The man who attempts to purchase the brains of his superiors to serve him, with his money replacing the judgment, ends up by becoming the victims of his inferiors. The men of intelligence desert him but the cheats and the frauds will come flocking to him, drawn by a law which he has not discovered.”

Here we have a beautiful rendition of another perspective of money. There is a popular saying that money cannot buy happiness, and the paragraph above expresses this clearly. Money can definitely get or buy you some good distraction that may seem like “happiness”, however, if the individual has no concept of what happiness truly means, he won’t find it with money either. Money to me is like a compass. The traveler has to know where the destination is, and with the aid of a compass, he can safely navigate his way. The compass doesn’t give the traveler a destination, similarly, money doesn’t give happiness. 

“Only the man who does not need it is fit to inherit wealth – the man who would make his own fortune no matter where it started. If an heir is equal to his money, it serves him; if not it destroys him. But you look on and you cry that money corrupted him. Did it? Or did he corrupt his money? Do not envy a worthless heir; his wealth is not yours and you would have done no better with it. Do not think that it should have been distributed among you; loading the world with fifty parasites instead of one, would not bring back the dead virtue which was the fortune. Money is a living power that dies without its root. Money will not serve the mind that cannot match it. Is this the reason why you call it evil?

I have heard quite a few successful businessmen and entrepreneurs say that if you chase money it runs away, however, if you chase greatness then money follows you. This statement sort of justifies the initial line that says only the man who does not need it is fit to inherit wealth.  The fact remains that if one needs to be handed a large sum of money in order to succeed then he may very well not deserve it. Also, we very easily get caught up with the thought process that some people may not deserve the wealth they have because we do not have it. One phrase that really fascinates me is ” money will not serve the mind that cannot match it”. This shows that the kind of money we desire has to match our mindset. If we desire money that is enormous then we have to have a mindset that is on the same frequency. Mediocre mindsets attract mediocre money. 

Every now and then I try to imagine the thought process of great minds like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Jack Ma, Mark Zuckerberg and all I can think of is; if  the external manifestation of their thought process is what we see, use and experience today in the form of their invention and businesses, imagine what the unseen part of their thinking process looks like. 

“Money is your means of survival. The verdict you pronounce upon the source of your livelihood is the verdict you pronounce upon your life. If the source is corrupt you have damned your own existence. Did you get your money by fraud? By pandering to men’s vices or men’s stupidity? By catering to fools in the hope of getting more than your ability deserves? By lowering your standards? By doing work you despise for purchasers you scorn? If so then your money will not give you a moment’s or a penny’s worth of joy. Then all the things you will buy will become not a tribute to you but a reproach, not an achievement but a reminder of shame. Then you will scream that money is evil. Evil because it will not pinch-hit for your self-respect? Evil, because it would not let you enjoy your depravity? Is this the root of your hatred for money?

This paragraph is packed with so much wisdom, that I feel trying to develop it further might dilute the essence. After a long discussion on the nature of money, it begs to also mention that the source of the money has to align with our conscience. If our wealth or money is gotten by means of fraud or deception then it may very well be the reason why we despise it, because it reminds us constantly of what we are doing wrong. Are we making money at the expense of people’s health, sanity, etc? Where is the satisfaction in amassing wealth that is not legit or doesn’t give you peace of mind? 

Another key point worthy of note is that we must remember not to subject ourselves to work that isn’t fulfilling or that doesn’t give us happiness just because we want to make money. If all we do is work for “bosses” we don’t like, dreading the beginning of every week, making up excuses to avoid work, then no matter the amount of money we amass from this, we won’t be satisfied. We all see this in our daily lives; people who make tons of money but dread their jobs and just stick with it because the pay is good. They live for the weekends, dipping themselves in bottles of alcohol every week to deal with the pain and emptiness, only to go back to it the very next week. 

The escape route for this emptiness becomes flashy cars and expensive gadgets. The verdict such people have pronounced on their source of income is that their happiness is tied to what they make. This is the same verdict they pronounce on their lives. 

I hope this second part helps us understand more about the intricacy of money, its source, making it and how making and spending money is a mental process just as it is physical. Till next week, please read, share and follow for more.

 

Money: the root of all evil?

Hi!

It is another week and I am glad to be able to share with you all another blog. Over the weekend I was reading and I couldn’t help but share with you all a few excerpts from Ayn Rand’s book. Due to my busy schedule during the week I try to do as much reading as I can during the weekend and to be honest it is like a tonic for my brain. Without further ado; I present “money the root of all evil”.

“So you think money is the root of all evil? Have you ever asked yourself what is the root of money? Money is a tool of exchange, which can’t exist unless there are goods produced and men able to produce them. Money is the material shape of the principle that men who wish to deal with one another must deal by trade and give value for value. Money is not the tool of the moochers, who claim your product by tears or of the looters, who take it from you by force. Money is made possible only by men who produce. Is this what you consider evil? ”

The set up to this quote is a statement by a lady to a renowned industrialist who may or may not have been lavish in his ways or exploitative. Her statement is more of a personal attack on his character than it is about money. He is able to however give some thought-provoking answers about the real nature or quality of money. As we go on I’ll try to expand where necessary. In actuality, his statements are blunt and need very little explanation.

“When you accept payment for your effort, you do so only on the conviction that you’ll exchange it for product or effort of others. It is not the moochers or looters who give value to money. Not an ocean of tears nor all the guns in the world can transform those pieces of paper in your wallet into the bread you will need to survive tomorrow. Those pieces of paper which should have been gold, are a token of honor- your claim upon the energy of those who produce. Your wallet is your statement of hope that somewhere in the world around you there are men who will not default on that moral principle which is the root of money. Is this what you consider evil?

Money is explained in the light that it actually is; a means of fair and conscientious exchange. This exchange can be of goods or services. Without money in its physical form which some people despise as evil, there won’t be a fair and consistent way to measure and exchange and that is why looters and moochers are referenced in the first paragraph. The possession of money in a wallet or bank account is also nothing but fair hope that wherever you are in the world, you can get people to maintain a consistent manner of approach when it comes to serving you or been served. This is so because money on its own doesn’t really have an effect until it is tied to its basic function; as a tool of exchange.

“Have you ever looked for the root of production? Take a look at an electric generator and dare tell yourself that it was created by the muscular effort of unthinking brutes. Try to grow a seed of wheat without the knowledge left to you by men who had to discover it for the first time. Try to obtain food by means of nothing but physical motions – and you’ll learn that man’s mind is the root of all the goods produced and of all the wealth that has ever existed on earth.”

If the root of money is for exchange and that exchange is based on production then is production evil? Production is based on need or necessity and as long as there are needs, there is production and as long as these needs are met by goods and services produced, one will require a fair means for them to be exchanged.

“”But you say that money is made by the strong at the expense of the weak? What strength do you mean? It is not the strength of guns and muscles. Wealth is the product of man’s capacity to think. Then is money made by the man who invents a motor at the expense of those who did not invent it? Is money made by the intelligent at the expense of the fools? By the able at the expense of the incompetent? By the ambitious at the expense of the lazy? Money is made before it can be looted or mooched – made by the effort of every honest man, each to the extent of his own ability. An honest man is one who knows that he can’t consume more than he has produced.”

This paragraph sort of silences claims of people who feel they are disenfranchised by “rich industrialist” who seem to make all the money. I do understand that there need to be regulations in terms of taxes, and regulations as to what practices are allowed to ensure for sustainable development. This is however not the bone of contention. Here the paradigm is clear; if you have an ingenious mind that can solve a huge problem and alleviate people’s suffering, you will get rewarded for it. That reward will translate into money and it doesn’t matter how strong or weak you are. Bottom line is no one should blame a man for being rich because he was able to create a product or a service. Using one’s mind to create wealth is not a form of oppression.

The last line in this paragraph concludes by saying an honest man is one who knows he can’t consume more than he has produced. This line syncs perfectly well with a famous verse from the Upanishads; “Everything animate or inanimate in this world is controlled and owned by the Lord, and one should only take what is one’s quota remembering to whom everything belongs.” It is worthy to note that the speaker or character in this book is an industrialist who has no inclination towards religion whatsoever however we can see that at least his definition of an honest man aligns with that of scriptures thousands of years old.

“To trade by money is the code of the men of good will. Money rests on the axiom that every man is the owner of his mind and his effort. Money allows no power to prescribe the value of your effort except the voluntary power of the man willing to trade you his effort in return.”

This is very self-explanatory, if I may add anything to this it would be the fact that without money as a means of exchange, vices like oppression, theft, and slavery which all oppose the very concept of voluntary exchange, will continue to this day.

There is so much to share on this topic and I hope I can make a second part so that it is not too long a read. Till next week, read, share and follow for more.