I hope you all are faring well. This week I feel like I should share some prayers that reflect some of my innermost thoughts and feelings. Every now and then I try to write and share a prayer, usually in various moods. For those who are new to my prayer series, please feel free to check one of them here. Without further ado, let’s dive into a world of prayers. For my readers who do not identify with any form of Theism, please feel free to reflect on my prayers below in whatever form or fashion that speaks to you.
Dear Lord, today I am here to speak to you because of late it has been difficult speaking with anyone who understands me the way you do. The last month has been trying, fulfilling, tough, and maybe even like a spiritual rollercoaster. I have had to deal with tests; some I passed and some I have failed. The irony is some of my failed tests, I could see them coming but I just wasn’t serious about passing them. Those that I somehow passed, I can’t even rejoice about them because it is expected that I should anyways.
It is interesting to note that for every test that I have criticized others of failing in the past, I have had to deal with them now. This only reminds me of the statement ” do not dwell on the shortcomings of others lest they become yours too”. It is easy to point out the flaws of others when we think we don’t have any, however as soon as we step into their shoes, we understand that it is not as easy as we might have thought.
Dear Lord, today I am here to speak to you because I really do see how minute I am in the presence of your energies. I somehow now understand that whatever spiritual progress I may have made in the past, it has been due to your causeless mercy. Success today on the path of spirituality doesn’t mean success tomorrow. We have to make choices daily and the summary of our progress is based mostly on these choices. You have mentioned in the Gita that the material energy is difficult to overcome but by constant practice and detachment, one can cross over it.
I try to practice consistently, however my level of detachment is what I feel is questionable. To the degree that I remain attached to the material energy to that degree, I am bound to it. To be honest, there is nothing as painful as seeing yourself fail a spiritual test knowing fully well that you can pass it. It is like a punishment in itself, like failing an exam you know you could very well get good grades in. You walk out of the Examination Hall and you already know what the score is. It is at times like this that I run to you Lord to ask for grace.
Dear Lord, today I am here to speak to you because you and I are the alone know all my fears, worries, and darkness. When there is no one and all is quiet, you know me better than I know myself. You see me better than I can ever see my reflection, you hear me better than I can ever process my internal dialogues. I don’t have to follow any protocol to let you know how I feel, neither do I have to go by guidelines in order to reveal my heart to you. You are there with me in my darkest moments and will always be with me even when I forget that you are.
This is the thought that reassures me that there is hope and all isn’t lost. To be honest, I feel like living in the material world is a bad deal that requires very special grace to navigate. Having a material body that is subject to birth, disease, old age, and death already sets us at a great disadvantage, so much so that we are constantly struggling to “win”. Lord, even though I may have all these odds stacked against me, I know your grace is sufficient for me.
Dear Lord, today I am here to speak to you because there is an immense vacuum inside of me that I can’t seem to fill up. I have tried to fill it with everything I can possibly imagine, but the more I try the more it seems to deepen. Relationships in the material world are meant to provide us with some sort of solace for the type of vacuum that I am experiencing. The truth about our relationships here in this realm is that; it is the union of two “minute spirit souls” who are dependent on the Infinite being. So the question begs; how can one who is not self-sufficient provide sustenance for another?
Self-sufficiency here has nothing to do with money, houses and the like, but the mere fact that we cannot even do without breathing for a minute. Yet we feel like we are the controllers of all that we survey. Lord, help me, heal me, and most importantly please remember that I am just a prodigal son who is doing his best to satisfy you.
Dear Lord, please keep me under your grace, shelter me with your love and guide me with your protection. I am nothing but a beggar for your mercy and your grace is all that sees me through.
Till next week, please read, share and follow for more.