It has been a quite a while since I have been able to share my thoughts on this blog, and I apologize for my long absence. To be honest I don’t really have an excuse, but I do have a reason I can attempt to share. Hopefully it is good enough to crave your indulgence.
Over the last four weeks I have been busy with work, life and my own thoughts. Four weeks ago, I had wanted to share something with you all, but I chose not to after a contemplating for a while. My reason was simple; whatever I had in mind to write about didn’t flick a switch with me. Thus, I decided if what I was writing wasn’t exciting to me then I won’t share it. I know some of you might respond by saying sometimes the ‘not so interesting” blogs end up becoming the super stories. In as much as this is true, I wasn’t really “feeling it” so I shelved it. This feeling went on for weeks and I kept asking myself how to get out of it.
Well last week, it happened naturally since I had to travel for a work-related conference in Chicago. Somehow or another the Airport in Chicago and I have an interesting relationship. I missed my first flight in Chicago, got delayed and went through the process of waiting for many follow up flights. So naturally when I arrived and saw it was the same Airport, I had missed my flight a while back, I kind of felt that perhaps the trip wasn’t going to be fun after all. Anyways I went through with it and I must say I learnt a lot during my time at the conference. There was a session during the conference that was dedicated to mental health at workplaces and it was both informative and refreshing. The rate of mental health issues has been on the rise in the US, especially when associated with workplace stress. There was a guy who came to share his story with us as a living example of one who had mental health challenges and how with the help of the organization who gave the discourse, he was able to overcome them.
I may not be able to share all what I gathered from the discourse, but I’ll try to weave in some points as I write. One major indication of an offset in mental health is a change in regular activities which may define a person. For example, I exercise everyday in the morning before setting out for work. I rely on body weight and basic exercises such as sit ups, push ups, etc. Now if I were to stop this for an extended period, (this doesn’t include rest days/ cheat days/ bad health, etc.) then it won’t be out of place if my partner were to inquire if all was okay. It would be a huge change if the stop was a long one. Another example will be my spirituality. I pray everyday and engage in mantra meditation before setting out. If I was to go a day without engaging my daily mantra meditation, it would be obvious that something was wrong with me. In other words, we need to know what our purpose driven activities are. These serve as one of the many yardsticks to know if we are sliding down the mental health rail.
Personally, it seems writing has been my chosen medium of expression, and over the years I begin to see that perhaps it was therapy unknown to me. There were times in my life when I had a lot to say about certain irregularities around me, be they spiritual, material or even administrative. During those times I had rubbed some people on the wrong side because they felt that I was “too bold” to challenge their authority. These people in positions of power were autocratic and anyone who dared speak about what they did, how it was done, became an “enemy”. I had my fair share of that madness until I decided I was done with it. Furthermore, if there was one thing that kept me sane and allowed me to remain focused in my duties, it was the fact that I could still speak about what I felt in poetry, prose, allegory or just straight up venting in blogs.
The beauty about this was that those who read my blog and were around me knew the issues I was addressing. I had my opportunity to still speak out with out coming off as “challenging, or uncooperative”. It was a win-win situation. It never bothered me that maybe my writings will get read by those who were a disturbance to administration, because I knew anyone with the mindset of bullying, tyranny, workplace politics, wasn’t someone who read. Until recently I always had something to write about or to share as injustice never slipped pass my gaze. Four weeks ago, I guess most of that changed. For once I didn’t need to address an ill or stand up for something, I saw an anomaly. Is this a sign that the planet earth is now “trouble free”? or is this a sign that I am becoming free of trouble?
Either way I knew that I was getting more centered to the things that mattered to me. I was tearing my hair less about things that were outside my circle of influence. I have been asking myself lately, is this a new calm or is this an extended period of writer’s block. Coincidentally (if there is a thing as coincidence or just perfect timing), I am also reading the third part of Atlas Shrugged and the description is about Miss Dagny Taggart crash landing in a place that seems almost like an utopia; meeting with all those who were frustrated by the system, who never broke by its pressure and had created a world that gave them all they wanted, most especially peace of mind. I hope as I unravel the mystery of this newfound world by reading more, I can also discover the mystery behind my newfound “calm”. I would like to hope that all these culminate in me being able to put forth unprecedented writings.
Till my next writing, read, share and follow for more, or show some love by buying me a cup of coffee here